


Ascend

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Some angst, ashe doesn't give up, feral dimitri typical violence, starts pre skip ends post game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 03:30:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: Dimitri tells Ashe over and over again that he's not fit to ascend the throne.





	Ascend

It’s not long after Dimitri convinces Ashe to be his friend that he finally opens up. He’s nervous to call the future king--his future king--a friend so casually. He still can’t convince himself to address him by name. Sort of. He’s trying to work his way down from Your Highness to Prince Dimitri. At least that’s slightly more personal… right?

Regardless, once he decides they can be friends--he’s allowed to be friends--they grow close quickly. Dimitri agrees to help him practice with a lance at the professor’s request. It gives them a lot of time to train and bathe and eat together. 

Dimitri is surprisingly forthcoming with his secrets. Well, nothing deep or dark, of course. But that he isn’t able to enjoy food the way he used to, or how he worries. Goddess, he worries. He worries over his studies, he worries over his peers, he worries about his friends and how they perceive him. More than anything, he worries about the weight of a crown he’ll be accepting too young. 

Ashe worries too, but he worries for different reasons, and he feels like maybe his voice is too small to express those worries yet. 

There is a day when they’re studying together in the library, though, when a little bit of his voice comes through. They study in the library most often, but Dimitri has invited him to his room more than once. Ashe just doesn’t want to impose. Dimitri seems a little more fidgety than usual, but Ashe doesn’t question it until he brings up a book. “Ingrid recommended a book to me that the two of you read.” 

There are several books that Ashe has read with Ingrid. Most of them were tales of knights and adventure or romance. Some of them historic. “Which book was that?” 

“It featured many famous stories of Loog, melted down into fables for easy reading. It was almost like a series of bedtime stories for a child.” 

“Oh.” Ashe knows that book. He likes it for its simplicity, but it sounds like Dimitri didn’t. 

Or maybe he can tell that Ashe looks a bit deflated because his face falters too. “I mean it no disrespect. It was an interesting retelling. It only made me wonder if... “ 

Ashe peeks back up at Dimitri’s eyes. They’re such a perfect, pretty blue. Like a piece of the sky. He blushes at his own thoughts. He sure does have thoughts like that a lot lately. About the curve of Sylvain’s smile or the way Felix’s hair frames his face or Dedue’s  _ arms…  _ The fact that he’s in a class full of unjustly attractive men isn’t fair. At least, he supposes, it’s not a contest. He’s more for appreciating their good looks than trying to compare. 

Dimitri is no different. He’s handsome and brave and smart and  _ talking right now  _ while Ashe is shamefully ignoring it. “W-Wait,” he says, blush still high on his cheeks. “I wasn’t paying attention. What were you saying?” 

Dimitri stares at him for a few seconds. Just long enough for Ashe to wonder if he’s in trouble. Then he chuckles. Ashe’s heart melts. Gorgeous laugh. He’ll have to add it to the list of things Dimitri has going for him. 

“What I was saying is Loog is so often remembered as such an incredible hero. He was the type of king a broken kingdom needs, and I… I simply do not know if I will be enough.” 

Ashe’s eyes linger on Dimitri’s too long. There’s a moment of awkward silence before Dimitri fakes a cough and looks away. Ashe looks back down at his notes. “I’m sorry,” Dimitri says. “It’s none of your concern.”

Ashe feels the protest in his chest like a hit to his lungs before he says it. “It is my concern. _You’ll_ be my king, not Loog. But I don’t think Faerghus needs…” He stops mid-sentence. Dimitri has such an odd smile on his face, and it makes Ashe pink again. “Is… is everything alright?” 

“Yes. It’s just that everything you say is so passionate. It’s like you feel every word as if it were a fact. I might believe anything you say.” 

Is that a compliment? Ashe does mean everything he says. He isn’t a liar. He’s been a lot of things, but never that. “I think you’re going to be a great king someday. It will be my honor to follow you.”

This time Dimitri blushes. It starts as just a splatter of pink but then it rises up into his ears. “I… I hope you always feel that way.” His response is soft and it doesn’t make the most sense to Ashe, but he accepts it at face value.

The next time they talk about it is several days later. “Ashe… what sort of knight do you want to be?” Dimitri asks. “Obviously you want to be well remembered, but what… else?” 

Ashe isn’t sure why Dimitri is asking and he’s even less sure why he’s asking while they’re sparring. He can barely focus on the question between trying to block the blows. The worst thing about sparring with Dimitri is that sometimes he doesn’t keep his own strength in check. Ashe has left the training grounds with black and purple bruises and Dimitri’s sincerest apologies. That’s why his focus is so heavily on defense. He’s not interested in leaving with that many bruises again. 

That’s truly the worst of it, though. Normally Ashe enjoys their training. He’s content today too, but the question makes it hard to focus. He misses a step that has him failing to dodge and ultimately toppling back onto his ass with a new ache in his shoulder. It’s from there, before Dimitri even can apologize or offer a hand up, that he asks, “What do you mean?” 

Dimitri stands over Ashe but leans gently on the wooden training spear. “Do you want to be under the employ of a particular house? Maybe you see yourself as one of the Gaspard knights?” 

Well, no. Ashe once thought about it, but after Christophe died, Lonato poured even more love into Ashe and his siblings. He thinks he may even have planned to pass his title to Ashe one day. Now Ashe isn’t even sure if Gaspard territory will exist by this time next year. It could be absorbed. Lonato wouldn’t want that, but Ashe can’t keep it safe all alone. Can he? Regardless, Ashe doesn’t want to be a Gaspard knight, necessarily. “I want to work where I can do the most good with my talents… they’ll help someone, I’m sure of it.”

Dimitri nods his head. “I only wondered. I think that Fhirdiad needs more knights who think like you.” 

He puts his hand out and Ashe takes it, standing on wobbly legs. It’s always after he rests for only a moment that standing up again feels impossible. His cheeks turn just slightly pink, of course. He feels as if he’s been given quite the compliment. “W-Well, I would be honored if my path took me to Fhirdiad.” 

Dimitri reaches out and gently squeezes Ashe’s shoulder. It’s meant to be a supportive gesture, so Ashe tries not to wince considering he just took a blunt hit there with that lance. “I hope it does,” Dimitri says. Then his smile turns a bit lopsided. “That said, you need to be more aggressive with your lance. Defense is important but if you never attack you can never win.” 

Ashe couldn’t possibly. “P-Prince Dimitri, I…” 

“Just try,” Dimitri says. He hands his own spear to Ashe, leaving himself defenseless. “I won’t counter.” 

Even though it seems outrageous to attack his unarmed prince, even if it is only training, Ashe does his best. By the end of it, he’s far less confident in himself than he is amazed by Dimitri’s ability to defend himself empty-handed. 

. . . 

Dimitri is broken. All of them are worried about him, but Ashe has to admit he feels a sentimental tug at his heart seeing him like this. He came to care for Dimitri so much in the months they shared at the academy. It’s nostalgic to be back here again. He’d like to train with him, eat with him, fall back into their routine.

They’re at war, so even if Dimitri wasn’t a shell of himself right now, it would be an unrealistic hope. Still, it’s a hope that Ashe keeps tucked away with that memory of Dimitri falling asleep against his arm when they were reading one day. 

Dimitri has clearly been through a lot. They all have, though. They still are! Ashe is barely pulling at strings trying to keep Lonato’s land in his control. He didn’t have much choice. He knew if he left for even a moment that Castle Gaspard would fall into the empire's clutches.

But he did leave. 

He came here, but now he knows that the professor and Dimitri are both alive. He may have lost the land that belonged to his adoptive father, but he hopes that Byleth and Dimitri can lead him to a future where he isn’t faced with losing anything or anyone else. 

Dimitri isn’t going to be leading them anywhere but to their deaths in this state of mind he’s in lately. It scares him. Ashe was never afraid of Dimitri before. He doesn’t know if he’s afraid of him now either. He does know he’s afraid of never seeing his prince’s gorgeous, happy smile again. Daily tasks seem to be the hardest. Eating, bathing, sleeping, all the while he wonders if Dimitri is still standing stoic and alone in front of the ruined cathedral. 

This morning he wakes up quite early. He would normally take it to mean he had another hour or so to sleep, but he can’t. He can’t sleep. All he can think about is the chill in his room, and how cold it must be in the cathedral. Surely Dimitri isn’t there at this hour. No, surely not, but Ashe gets out of bed anyway. He doesn’t think Dimitri will accept his help even if he offers. He has been playing like he’s heartless lately. Or maybe the heart was ripped out of him five years ago. 

Ashe pulls his quilt off his bed. 

The chapel is dark and wind gusts right through it. Ashe can only even see because he brought a lantern. He leaned as a teenager that walking through the monastery at night is spooky. The yellow lantern light breaks the darkness up like it’s clearing away a fog. There at the front of the cathedral is Dimitri. Did he stand there all night, or has he slept and returned? It doesn’t matter. 

“It’s cold,” Ashe says more to announce his presence than to make conversation. As he approaches, Dimitri turns and spares him a glance. At least he’s aware he isn’t alone. That’s more than he often lets on. 

“Leave me be.” 

Maybe he wishes to be alone then. Ashe clears his throat. “I wouldn’t be a very good knight or a very good friend if I left you to freeze.” 

“You are neither of those things.” 

Ashe stutters to a stop. The words he was about to say, the thoughts in his mind, they all halt. Well, it isn’t a lie. Dimitri is right. Ashe isn’t a knight, not yet. He still hopes he will be one day. He still wants to follow that dream. That doesn’t bother him half as much as the other implication. They aren’t friends. 

They spent so much time together! Ashe was head over heels for Dimitri by the time the war began. Dimitri had to have felt at least friendship. He had to have felt something. It wasn’t imaginary. Still, unexpected anger bubbles up to the surface and all Ashe can say is “Fine. I’m not your friend. But you are mine.” 

It’s a terrible, lonely thought. The idea that these years of pining for a prince that he was so scared truly had died weren’t even enough to measure up to being called his friend… it’s unjust. Ashe can remember having tea with him, laughing, sparring, reading… Always together and it always felt so intimate. 

Maybe he was just a dumb kid with a dumb crush. “Take this, Dimitri.” He thrusts out his hands and holds the quilt out for him. He tries to sound bold, but a part of him is screaming. How dare he not call him his highness? He should have used his title. They’re not friends. But maybe if he treats Dimitri like just another friend, he’ll listen to him? 

“I do not need friends. You are just another soldier walking towards his death.” 

Ashe chews on the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or sad anymore. Thankfully, anger still maintains control of his outward emotions. “Then I’ll go.” 

He walks away, but he leaves the blanket and the lantern at the prince’s feet. 

In the times that follow that, Ashe spends as much time as he can in the cathedral watching over Dimitri. It’s the time that isn’t spent training or cooking or doing his fair share of the work around here. It’s time that he wasn’t sure how to fill at first, but now he’s found a comfortable routine. He wanders to the front of the cathedral, sits down in the very first row of pews, and he reads. 

It’s peaceful, really. The sound of the wind blowing through the stone, the echoes of steps when people walk through… Ashe really does enjoy it there. It would be even more peaceful if not for the fact that Dimitri is still standing there, each day, acting like he’s just a walking weapon waiting for its next kill. It’s worrisome. He needs to treat himself like the human he is, not like he’s unbreakable. 

He’s a man, not a lance. He stands for more than killing Edelgard. Ashe knows that. Why can’t he see it too? So he watches over him. He protects him. Ashe refuses to see his prince--his king--his  _ friend _ \--fall. He only wishes that seeing Dimitri act so haunted ever got easier.

It’s one of those days when he’s there, reading in the cathedral, that Dimitri approaches him. He’s admittedly just lounging, reading over one of the books from when he was young. He’s sure that Dimitri read this book as well. It’s not even a question. He knows that Dimitri read it because they read it together. He can remember him literally reading aloud, and Ashe laughing at him for doing character voices. He can remember the fluttering in his chest when Dimitri laughed, too.

When Dimitri snatches the book out of his hands now, Ashe doesn’t imagine it’s because he’s going to speak in the booming voice he assigned to Loog five years ago. “Dimitri?” Ashe asks, and he hates how timid his voice is. 

Five years ago he would have been thrilled to hear Ashe using his name so casually, but now he doesn’t even act like he heard him talk. He just turns the book around to admire it himself and scowls when he recognizes the words. “Tales of heroes and happy endings?” He asks as if he doesn’t already know. “This is nothing but a farce.”

Ashe almost thinks to speak up, but he can’t. He can’t say anything because in only a heartbeat Dimitri rips the book in two. The strength he displays is impressive, but all Ashe can think about is how that book belongs to the  _ library.  _ “D-Dimitri!”

Ashe scrambles out of the pew to pick up the two halves of the book, only mildly distraught when some of the pages start to peel out of place. No wonder, they were just ripped from their binding. He scoops them up in his arms and, with a huff, he ungracefully straightens them into a pile. Part of him wants to cry about the ruined book. It didn’t belong to him, sure, but it was the only copy. Plus… he remembers this book fondly. He thinks he realized he had feelings for Dimitri when they read this book together. Part of him wants to laugh at his past self for being surprised. The other part of him wants to mourn.

He still has feelings for Dimitri, whether or not he’s in his right mind right now. Ashe doesn’t know if he’ll ever be the man who laughed and smiled and even joked around with him years ago… but if this is how Dimitri will be for the rest of his life Ashe will still do his best to protect him. He never knew where his path would take him, but he had always hoped it would be to Fhirdiad. He’s not sure if that’s where they’ll end up now, but… wherever Dimitri goes, Ashe will too. Even if he rips every book he owns. 

“You’re not upset about the story in the book,” Ashe says, voice meeker than he would prefer. He clears his throat, but when Dimitri’s eye settles on him he still hesitates. It’s still blue like the sky, but it’s clouded by the ghosts that haunt him. “You told me you loved this book once. You’re just still afraid that you’re not going to live up to it.” 

Dimitri takes an aggressive step forward and Ashe backs up out of it. He’s not quick enough, because Dimitri grips his wrist and squeezes too tight.  _ Too tight.  _ Does he know he’s hurting him? Ashe gasps and looks down from his wrist and back up. “You know nothing about me.” 

_ Let go.  _ Ashe looks at his wrist again and back up. Dimitri is scowling at him. He scowls right back. “I am not afraid of you. Break it if you want. It won’t make you feel better.” His heart pounds hard against his chest. He’s actually terrified, but he hopes his bluff is strong enough. He hopes he looks as ferocious as he wants to sound. 

Dimitri all but throws his arm and turns to walk away. “Get out of my sight.” 

Ashe does, but only so he can have Mercedes look at his wrist. They have to march tomorrow, and he won’t be able to draw his bow with a sprain.

Ashe has always known that Dimitri would meet his breaking point sooner or later. He would either snap and kill them all in his efforts to get to Edelgard, or he would see the light and come back to them. He didn’t expect it to take losing such a valuable ally to be what made him finally stop. Or maybe it wasn’t just that. Maybe it was a lot of things happening at once. Ashe wouldn’t know. He hasn’t seen him in days. He’s not standing like a ghost in the cathedral anymore. He’s not wandering around. Wherever he is, Ashe can’t find him, and he’s worried. 

He’s so worried, because what if he needs help? But Dedue will surely find him. Byleth will take care of him. 

It’s when there’s a quiet knock at his door at some ungodly hour of the morning that Ashe finds out Dimitri is willing to come to him. He looks… awful, but somehow better. He smells like he’s bathed, his hair isn’t greasy. It’s partially pulled back but still messy, like he’d slept on it since then. Oh, but the idea that he’s been sleeping is nice. Ashe rubs his eye and pushes his hand through his hair to try and wake himself up.

For a few seconds, they’re just standing there. Ashe is leaning against his open door and Dimitri is standing in the doorway. They’re just very quiet. Ashe is trying to process all the reasons why he might be here before he finally settles on  _ something’s happened.  _ “Is--Is everything alright?” he asks, but it overlaps with Dimitri’s voice.

“Please, may I come in?” 

“Oh.” Ashe looks behind him at the room. It’s not messy, but he doesn’t think it matters. He opens the door wider and steps aside, and closes it behind Dimitri. Then they’re silent again, staring at each other. 

“I won’t be long,” Dimitri croaks. He sounds like he could cry, but he doesn’t look like it. “I came to apologize. I was cruel to you, more than once, and you were only trying to take care of me.” 

Ashe wants to say it’s not his fault and that he shouldn’t apologize, but, well, it is his fault. Haunted or not, he did say those things. He did hurt him. Still, he finds he can’t just let the apology linger. “What matters is that you’re alright now, Your Highness.” 

Maybe Dimitri’s lips flicker into a deeper frown. Is it because Ashe didn’t use his name? He used to do the same thing when they were children. Maybe he grew used to Ashe calling him by name while he was watching over him? 

“You were right,” He says after a moment. “I am afraid I won’t live up to those expectations. I’m certain you already knew that, and yet... it still feels hard to admit. Especially now, when you always told me you believed I would be a great king… and I did all I could to prove you wrong.” 

“D-Dimi--” 

“Please, don’t. I don’t need to be comforted. Allow me to apologize, and I will do everything I can to become the king you want to follow.” 

He makes a move for the door. Ashe slips between the door and Dimitri, putting his weight back against the wood. “You haven’t even given me a chance to speak,” Ashe tries to say it, but it’s more of a whisper. 

And, in an echo of that, Dimitri also whispers. “I’m afraid to hear what you have to say.” 

Ashe doesn’t know what to say… so he steps away and allows Dimitri to leave. He said he didn’t need to be comforted, but that isn’t true. Everyone needs that now and then, and Dimitri needs it now more than ever. 

What could Ashe possibly say that he could be afraid of?

After that, things are different. Dimitri is participating in meetings, and training, and duties. He’s leading them the way he used to. Everyone is in better spirits over it--even Felix, despite his loss. Ashe still does his best to watch over him, but it’s not as easy now. Now he doesn’t need to be babysat. He has his friends, all of them, supporting him again. 

Ashe is happy about that, but it upsets his schedule. He used to spend his free time reading in the cathedral, and now he finds it’s lonely in there. How odd, because they nearly never spoke when he read there before. It feels like his free time should be better spent now that he isn’t watching over Dimitri, so he comes up with ways to work through it. Sparring with Felix, cleaning up around the monastery, helping Sylvain tend to the horses… they fill the time, but his mind wanders. 

And then, one day, his mind wanders to the library, and he goes there. Maybe, he thinks, he’ll find a book to read. Many of them were stolen, but not so many that it’s empty of literature. He’s surprised to find Dimitri there. He walks in and their eyes meet across the room, and he immediately wonders if he should leave. He’s still, but Dimitri isn’t. 

“Ashe, I,” he starts to say. He has a book in his hand. He walks closer, and Ashe isn’t afraid of him. He’s not avoiding Dimitri. He’s just not sure what to say to him, after that apology so many nights ago. But he holds out a book for Ashe and Ashe takes it. He opens the front cover, and although there isn’t a title or illustration, the first few lines are familiar. 

“Is this... “ He can see that it isn’t in the best shape, but it’s the book Dimitri ripped. The cover is completely different… it looks as if it’s been sewn into a new one. Ah, maybe it has. He looks back up and smiles, realizing now that Dimitri had the book repaired. “It isn’t my book. You didn’t have to do this.” 

“Of course not, but I thought… perhaps if I repaired that book, I could repair our friendship as well.” 

Ashe’s thumbs rub along the pages. Most of them are in fine condition. Only the center pages are crumpled and ripped, but they’ve been repaired with steam and glue as best they can be. He shakes his head no, and Dimitri must think he’s rejecting the suggestion. He looks hurt.

Ashe hugs the book to himself. “Dimitri, our friendship was never broken. I will always stay by your side. Er, that is… the book is wonderful. I appreciate it. This book is very special to me.” Dimitri’s shoulders slump when he relaxes. Ashe’s smile grows wider, and he pulls the book open and flips through towards the end of it. The climax of the story... and he points to some dialogue where a monstrous villain spoke. “Do you remember when you read this aloud?” 

Dimitri’s lips, wonderfully, pull into a smile. “You laughed at me.” 

“You gave him such a strange accent!” Ashe can’t help but laugh again, remembering it. “I laughed until I cried.” 

“Yes, you were very cute.”

Ashe pauses. Dimitri is quiet. Ashe lets himself smile, even if he’s got a blush on his cheeks that hasn’t been there in years. “Maybe… when the war is over, we can read it together again.” 

“I would like that,” Dimitri says softly. Ashe steps forward and wraps his arms around him in a hug. 

He’s not sure when the last time anyone hugged Dimitri is… but once he stops being startled by it, he curls up around Ashe like he’s never been hugged in his entire life. 

…

“Do you think…” Dimitri begins, nearly a year later. He looks back over his shoulder at Ashe. Ashe is dressed nicer than he thinks he’s ever dressed, but he’s not anything special today. He’s just working a belt to help Dimitri put on this armor. Ceremonial: it’s for his coronation today. The new king of the United Fodlan. Ashe hums at him, waiting for him to continue. Dimitri sighs. “Do you think… do you think  _ they _ will think I’m enough?” 

Ah, this again. Ashe ducks under Dimitri’s raised arm and moves to stand in front of him. “You know how I feel on the subject already.” He adjusts some of the armor in the front before he takes a step back to admire his work. He’s not always been an expert at assembling armor like this, but he’s learned well enough. 

“Yes,” Dimitri admits. “I suppose I do. You’ll say that I’ll be the sort of king people yearn to follow. Though I can’t help but wonder if your opinion is biased.” 

Ashe smiles and rocks back onto the heels of his boots playfully. “Biased, my king?” Dimitri flashes him a playful glare. He steps closer, and Ashe shifts onto his toes to sling his arms around his neck. It’s not a tight hug, it shouldn’t be, not when the armor would get in the way and goddess knows Ashe doesn’t want to hurt this antique armor. But he hangs there from his shoulders until Dimitri leans down and their lips meet, soft and sweet. 

The kiss is short-lived, and Ashe settles his weight on his own feet again after it ends. “I can’t imagine why you would think my opinion is biased.” 

“I suppose I will take your word for that,” Dimitri hums. 

A knock at the door has Dedue entering. “Your Majesty. The ceremony is about to begin.” 

Ashe grins. He’ll be part of it, of course. He’ll stand to the side, with Dedue. The two of them will keep watch as Dimitri’s closest knights. They’ll watch their king accept his crown. And certainly they’re both proud of him, both his closest friends, but Ashe has to admit there’s a part of him deep down that bubbles up with affection at the idea of it all. Dimitri went through so much to get here. He cut ties, burned bridges, but even then he tried to mend them when he could. He gave up so much so that his people--so that everyone--would be safe. He’s earned this crown.

Of course it won’t be easy. There's still a lot of work to do, but Dimitri will be remembered as a hero-king who ended a terrible war. Ashe is proud of him. He’s happy to be his retainer and his knight. He’s happy exactly the way it is, but he’s also hopeful that their relationship will continue to grow.

So, of course, when Dimitri asks him to join him in his room that night to read he agrees, and he’s more than a little amazed when he opens the book and a ring falls out from between the pages. 


End file.
